Hey Hey You Ugly

So now it’s my turn to apologize for a very tardy post, Gumdrop. I did this post weeks ago, but work and life have kept me from writing about it until now. And maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t in too much of a rush to show you the ugliest thing I’ve ever baked.

Given the terrible reputation roulades have, I decided to be brash, be bold, be confident as I prepared for the challenge. I whipped up the cake batter, spread it into the jellyroll pan and deftly tossed it into the oven. Shabam - a roulade superstar was born!

Except that’s when I noticed I’d filled the pan too much. The cake came out far too fluffy, but repeating my mantra, I covered it in plastic wrap and a wet tea towel and rolled that sucker up.

Next, I tackled the buttercream. Did this recipe feel like a lot of work for not much reward or was it just me? Sure, it tasted good, but it wasn’t that different than good old swiss buttercream. Maybe it picked up on my skepticism because just as I was adding the last pat of butter, it all separated. I slapped the bowl into an ice bath and did what I could, but I’d developed a bad attitude toward the whole endeavour and it didn’t do much to improve the frosting.

Feeling like a kitchen delinquent, I unrolled my cake, and of course, that puffy cake split apart. In an effort to just get the damn thing done, I slapped on some nutella and then added a layer of the buttercream and struggled to roll it all up into a neat log. I didn’t succeed in the “neat” department.

Things took a final bad turn when I tried to ice it with the sub-standard buttercream. After 4 hours of work, I was past caring. I slapped that icing on like I was Sandra Lee making her grandmother’s peach birthday cake with canned frosting and Ziploc bags.
It was a sad day in my kitchen.

I contemplated throwing it out and beginning again, but I couldn’t face it. Then I remembered when my mother first started quilting and she made what has become known as ‘the ugly quilt’. It looked like something frugal Ma Ingalls would have made during a desperately cold Prairie winter – and tossed away because it was so ugly. I dug through my closets and found that ugly quilt and used it as the backdrop for my ugly cake. I was a little heartened to think this was just my ugly first attempt at a roulade and if I keep at it, I might make roulades as beautiful as the quilts my mother makes now.

I wound up taking the cake to a dinner party at a friend’s becaujavascript:void(0)se a) I didn’t have time to pick up a bottle of wine after spending the entire afternoon on this cake and b) I still didn’t want the ugly thing hanging around my house! Due to my friend’s own dessert disaster, the ugly cake was joyously welcomed and devoured. It was the yummiest ugly looking cake ever.

xo
P