Banish the Baguette (but not why you think)

Ma chère Gumdrop:

This is not a picture of a baguette. It’s a picture of the IE filming on location. This, as you will recall, was the reason I needed to bake bread. But I’ve discovered another problem, possibly a bigger one. The problem is that I love bread. I love bread too much. But bread does not love me the same way. Sure, it pretends to love me; it makes me feel good with that first warm crusty hunk, so I go back for more. And more. Until I feel sick with self-loathing for loving something that just ends up making me feel bloated and pasty. Then when I swear off bread, it comes back with that come-hither scent wafting from the oven.

So that’s why there isn’t a picture of my warm, golden, albeit slightly misshapen, baguette. I loved that baguette so much; I had to kick it to the curb before I could take a picture.

This fantastically simple recipe from the talented bakers at King Arthur Flour was just the sort to make a novice bread maker like me fall head over heels with homemade bread. It’s so easy; I could even handle making it the old-fashioned way (with a wooden spoon and elbow grease) since I didn’t have my kitchen-aid at the cottage. As it was a rainy autumn day in August, the time required inside wasn’t a hardship, although the actual work time is paltry enough. It’s really just the waiting that makes the whole bread thing a chore.

So, recipe: dead simple and I found the second half of the dough, which I used the next day, produced lighter bread, but that may have been because I rolled the second batch into a longer shape (a baguette is a lot longer than you think and definitely a lot longer than your average baking sheet!).

Because of this shortfall, my baguette did end up misshapen as I said. It looked more like a French loaf than baguette, but hey, it still looked French! And with some wine and good company, it passed muster for a rustic cottage weekend. The loaves gave the most wonderful thwack when tapped and had a fabulous flake when torn. Like the best bread, it was a small soul-satisfying experience (I’d love to try it with actual King Arthur Flour next time, but that would require a road trip. Interested?).

I do need a bit more practice with my shaping technique before I take to riding my bike through the city with a few jaunty homemade baguettes and a lush bouquet of fresh flowers in my basket. But I’m definitely a few steps closer to the kind of life portrayed in an Anthropologie ad. As long as I remember not to eat any of bread. Who am I kidding? That baguette had me at bon jour…

Adieu,
P

And yes, this is just a random picture from the IE’s movie. While not a baguette, Mounties are yummy too.

Cake Shopping Will Help Too!

Oh, Pickle!

Don't be sad, I can't bear it! (Would it help to tell you that I would DIE for a couple of months by myself and spend them running around the house naked while eating bon-bons with no husbands or kiddos to steal them from me or to be startled by my bouncing buttocks? The truth is I would probably just sit in an armchair and enjoy the fact that my shoes are where I left them and I don't need to vacuum like, hourly. Still, jaded bliss...)

We will totally cheer you up with baguette. Warm. With butter. How can one be sad then?

In the mean time, go look at adorable cupcake accoutrements here. I ordered a whole bunch including the absolutely charming Christmas cupcake kit, full of retro toppers that make me wish it was December, and the pirate cupcake kit which will undoubtedly make little boys very happy. I also ordered a bunch of darling cupcake papers which came packaged with little decos to coordinate with them. That will help! And just think, no husband to scrutinize your package of imported foo-fas when it arrives = less guilt.

I have some pictures coming up of a couple of baked goods which will feature the blue gingham cupcake papers.

Love and warm bread to you,
Gumdrop

Bake Away the Blues

Dear Gumdrop:

Lately, I’ve been feeling a little blue. A husband who has been MIA for 2 ½ months is to blame (damn movie-making in far-flung locales!). Not even a burst of truly summer-like weather has been able to lift my spirits. But I think fresh-baked bread might do the trick.

A homemade baguette might be the bread-lover’s equivalent of those pillow boyfriends you see Japanese girls with blunt cuts and knee socks clutching in indie fashion magazines. After this challenge, IE may find me curled up with an olive boule (and sporting a stylish yet sensible new haircut) when returns.

So feel the love, bake some bread.

Pickle

Kreskin Hearts Crackers

Dear Pickle:

Remember the amazing Kreskin and his act? Okay, here’s my version:

ANSWER – Knit scarves, the rules, jokes about your mother and crackers.



QUESTION – Name things that are better if you make them yourself…

My apologies to Johnny Carson.

You’d never know it by how late I am with this one, but I too loved and was comforted by making these crackers. The first time I made bread I was like nineteen and going through the obligatory college hippie phase. I hereby apologize to High School Boyfriend and His University Buddy, who were forced to eat the leaden loaves I enthusiastically produced from the Laurel’s Kitchen Bread Book (the original hippie GET BAKED bible). OHMIGOD, soggy and kind of anvil-like and absolutely indigestible.

If only I’d started with delightful, delicious SIMPLE crackers! And, maybe, some nice white flour instead of sprouted rye or WTF I was brainwashed into at that point.

The recipe I used was from The Bread Baker’s Apprentice, a gorgeous book that won the James Beard award and the subject of yet another weekly blog circle that I had dreams of joining at some, more ambitious point. I was a bit shocked to see instant yeast used here as I thought maybe purists wouldn’t think of such a thing, but I faithfully bought some and with the additions of honey, oil and flour I had a dough in like thirty seconds! No proofing of the yeast with the sugar or anything!

It’s been a mega-stressful summer for me work-wise, and yet it all kind of melted away with the ten minutes of kneading required. This is one of those things that every time I do it, I am all like – why don’t I knead something EVERY DAY?!? (Oh yeah, because I was born at the wrong time. Drat. Though I do appreciate the indoor plumbing and anti-frizz hair products available nowadays.) I guess the tricky part was finding a day when I would be at home and sane for two hours while the dough rose, but once it was done working it’s magic on a sunny windowsill, I swear it only took me another thirty seconds to roll these mofos out on a counter lightly sprayed with cooking spray.

I chose to sprinkle them with alternating lines of poppy and sesame seeds, although the book’s author uses a number of spices so I may have to go back and try that too… Anyway, they were light and crisp and joyous - if not perfectly, evenly browned. They were consumed enthusiastically by all members of my little household, despite the fact that they came out of the oven mere moments after dinner, the smell having been just too intoxicating to ignore. And I got to feel all smug that they had no preservatives and didn’t come out of a package (er, for once.)

Anyway, I hope your summer has been good to you and I can’t wait to dig in – so please, challenge me!!!

Crackers for you,
Gumdrop

Look, gratuitous cute baby eating ice cream as my apology to you! Peanut just turned ONE!

Mea Cracker

Dear Gumdrop:


Um, I guess I kinda sorta need to apologize for all my cracker grumblings. So... sorry. I will happily admit that baking homemade crackers was one of the most comforting things I’ve ever done. There was something so entirely honest and homely about it all. I was so content, I wound up dancing around my kitchen working with this unbelievably silken dough. It was one of my favourite challenges so far!

I chose this olive oil cracker recipe from 101 Cookbooks. An excuse to use the dough hook on my kitchen aid is never to be missed (although I’m in no hurry to drop the mixing bowl on my toe again anytime soon. My poor toe is still black and blue, but at least it goes with the purple polish). The dough itself was easier than pie and came together lickety-split. My absolute favourite part was shaping the dough and rubbing it with olive oil -- it was just this amazingly relaxing tactile experience. I actually felt connected to the food I was preparing.

Having let the dough rest, it was now time to roll ‘em out and splash on some flavour flourishes. I chose a few different toppings – sesame seeds, poppy seeds, cracked pepper and sea salt. The one tip i have is to roll the dough out to almost the desired thinness and then add the topping and finish rolling. It helped press the seeds and things in a bit more.

The other thing I did, which was probably just a misunderstanding of the directions was to bake the crackers on the cornmeal. It was a bit messy when eating, but I really adored that extra crunch.

I arrived at the cottage with some seven-year-old Canadian cheddar and some stinky gooey riopelle, which along with the delicious homemade crackers, made for a crowd-pleasing afternoon snack. My brother was impressed to learn I had made the ‘amazing flatbreads’ from his favourite restaurant. The old me may have jumped at the chance to call these the more impressive sounding ‘flatbread’, but the new me is dazzled by the honesty of ‘cracker’. After all, they even pleased my three-year old nephew’s discriminating taste buds. Who can argue with that?

Pickle x

WTF?!

Crackers, Gumdrop? Crackers?!?! It's like punishment for enjoying the cookie challenge too much.

Like my aversion to rhubarb and chocolate, I loathe cooked stawberries (why do I keep objecting to the cookies in the cookie carnival? They're cookies for god's sake. By their very nature, they can't be bad). Instead, I shall be baking some dried cherry and white chocolate cookies in honour of Canada Day.

And looking for cracker recipes. I suppose I could rouse some excitment by contemplating the fine cheese that will go with them.

Patriotically yours,
P